23 Dec We are all rushing to death
We have grown so impatient, stressed and anxious that pausing for anything nowadays is considered either a luxury or crazy. Always rushing, always in the hurry. That is how we live now. And there are thousands of tools marketed daily that help us be busier in less time. Somehow, we got fooled into believing that’s what we have to do. That’s how we have to be in order to show value, to belong and be loved. If we’re not busy, multitasking and always on the go something must be clearly wrong with us. We brag about not having time to do anything, we brag about working 80-hour weeks being so proud of ourselves (do you ever pause and think about who is the actual end receiver of the benefit of you working those insane hours?), while we are missing the graduations of our kids, quality time with our partners and people we love or just some much needed alone time. Because that is not rewarded, not with money or promotion or anything tangible. And we have also been conditioned to value the tangible. We honk at people who don’t drive the speed we want them to, we eat fast and the restaurant staff will bring us the check before we even had desert or coffee, or what if I wanted more food? (but that’s another topic)
My point is, we stopped enjoying life. It’s a constant rat race, running faster, doing more in less time, rushing, pushing people out of our way, honking, yelling, kicking, screaming, struggling. We no longer have time for friendships, our hobbies or taking a moment for ourselves. We live in a closed loop that has been designed to keep us miserable – if I do more, get more, be more I’ll be more loved. The system is playing into our deepest inner most desires – connection and belonging. And by keeping us busy we can’t see, that it is the pause that has the answers. It’s the pause that lets us break the loop and step out of it. It’s the pause that brings true joy, love and sense of belonging in life. It’s the pause that allows us to take care of ourselves, to heal and be more aware. It’s the pause that makes us kinder and more compassionate with ourselves and others.
Daily, I look around and see people so tense and stressed (especially in city like Los Angeles). It shows in their faces. Nobody smiles anymore, and when I do, people think I am crazy. We are losing kindness and compassion. We think we are the center of universe forgetting we are sharing this space and coexist here with others. Being so busy we forget that we all have different journeys, goals and priorities. Consumed with our busy-ness we have a tunnel vision and expect everyone to see everything our way. Never pausing to try and see the world as a whole, never pausing to understand other people’s perspectives. Because we don’t have the time to pause.
We don’t allow ourselves to enjoy even the simplest things like a nice meal with a friend without already thinking about what’s next with one foot already out the restaurant.
When is the last time you spend 10 minutes in silence just sitting still at home or in the park? When is the last time you enjoyed a quiet walk? When is the last time you enjoyed reading a good book? When is the last time you actually were enjoying the moment you were experiencing in the moment without looking at your phone? When is the last time you stopped and smelled the roses?
While we constantly worry, we are going to miss something if we stop rushing, the thing that we are actually missing is life itself. And we don’t even realize that we are all just rushing to death.
Before it’s too late and especially around this time of the year when we tend to gather with people we love and care about… Let’s pause. Let’s take a deep breath and enjoy the moment. Let’s allow ourselves to do nothing for a while and not beat ourselves up for it but embrace it instead. Let’s put our phones away for a day. Let’s try to eat slower and really enjoy each and every bite of a home cooked meal. Let’s be present for the time we have decided to spend with others. Let’s be kinder to one another. Let’s approach each conversation from a place of compassion no matter what our differences. Let’s choose joy. Let’s choose now. Let’s choose love. Because life is too short, and it will be gone before we know it. So, let’s stop rushing and trying to make it even shorter. Let’s be here. Now. Together.