Life isn't linear. It isn't always what we want it to be. It's got its ups and downs, its victories and disappointments… Yet nowadays, there's this pressure to be happy and positive all the time. So as a result, sometimes, when I feel down, I feel like something is very wrong with me. Then other times, I think all this pressure does is help pharma companies sell more antidepressants. Because I'm pretty sure that if I feel this way, many others out there feel exactly the same.
There are thousands of books on happiness and probably millions of quotes, and we all try our best to keep up because that's what we strive for – to be happy. The books generally all agree. It all starts with a thought. And yes, the power of thought is, well, powerful. Shifting our mindset can turn our lives completely around. I can't argue that. Positive thinking can change our mood, help us find our strength, and accomplish things we never thought we could.
But we all know those people who claim to be "happy" and "great" all the time. The ones that take the positivity craze a bit too far and choose to deny reality altogether. They're the ones who drank the cool-aid, and believe the solution for everything is to smile and, yes, to be positive. And that's the part that I wanna talk about.
I am convinced living life in such denial comes with a hefty price tag. Nobody is happy and great all the time. It's not human. We are not robots. We experience a wide range of emotions daily. While it's important to try and keep our heads up even at our lowest, we can't simply skip the bad stuff and pretend it's not there. Otherwise, all that negative stuff we are suppressing will consume us on the inside. It has to go somewhere, right? And I believe, in many cases, it causes major depression and health issues. I have no data to support this statement but I've gone as far as saying I believe it causes cancer. I feel like this forced happiness might seem right in the moment. However, no matter how bad the lows are, not being honest with ourselves and forcing to feel something we don't causes much worse and longer-lasting damage.
The plain truth is. We all struggle. Every day. That's what makes us human, and that's what connects us.
The sadness, the heaviness, the loss, the betrayal, the anger… All of it. It is important to give it time and space to run its course. I am not suggesting sulking in it and self-pitying until the day we die. But allowing it to pass, not denying its importance and, most importantly, not fighting it. And we need to understand that the good and the bad are part of the same thing. So be kind to it and to ourselves. Because when we do it is over much quicker.
And another thing I know for a fact is, I have grown the most while going through the lowest, shittiest, saddest times in my life. Those experiences forced me to dig the deepest and taught me the most about who I am. And that continues to bring me peace and contentment. Which I believe equals happiness.