I enjoy traveling solo. It removes me from the daily bustle, the noise, and the familiar, so I can gain clarity and figure things out. Traveling solo abroad adds a layer of interesting new challenges, learning to understand new cultures, languages, and rules. It forces me to get out of my comfort zone, reflect more, and by default, be more aware. Simply because there’s nobody else to rely on.
But it also opens the door for meeting new people, spontaneously changing plans, and creating new connections. And I think that’s one of my favorite parts. I believe there’s a very different energy about a person traveling alone; others can sense that. Plus, I noticed that we are generally more open to new experiences when traveling solo.
I have traveled to over sixty countries, and everywhere I went, I made new friends or connected with my friends’ friends. So that made it easier for me and gave me the option to choose when I wanted to have the quiet moments of solitude I cherish so much or hang out with my new friends.
My last trip, however, was different. I went to Japan. It was the first time I was in a country where I couldn’t read or speak the language and didn’t know a soul. It was new to me, and I found it very interesting, to say the least… It didn’t hit me until the last two days of the 12-day trip that while I was enjoying my solitary adventures and spending a lot of time in my head, my solitude turned into isolation, and I developed a deep sense of loneliness. It hit me like a ton of bricks when I finally decided to have a day of rest as I sat in the bathtub. I have never felt like this before while traveling abroad. I barely spoke to people besides the three basic lines of excuse me, thank you, and where is…? and the occasional text with friends back home, which in no way replaced the fact that I was in a very foreign and very new (to me) country. My physical exhaustion amplified the feelings, and I decided to forego the last two days of adventures and spent them even more in my head, eating cake in my hotel bed, accompanied by frequent crying.
Anything in life that’s taken to an extreme (like, for instance, never being alone or being alone too much) can be unhealthy and even damaging. And I felt like I was reaching that limit. I missed everyone I loved and realized I had never spent this much time with this little social interaction during my travels. So I started writing myself notes to not forget how that felt but also to get out of my head. It helped. And while eating yet another piece of cake, I remembered that one of our basic human needs for survival is connection. Just as much as we need solitude to process and unravel who we are (I mean, our unconscious requires solitude to process and solve problems so much so that our body imposes it upon us each night in the form of sleep), we need connection and a sense of belonging to be healthy, happy, and to strive. Exhausted, I smiled and was like, okay, lesson learned. It really is all about balance.